hopelessly devoted to you.: April 2010

Films.

After watching a film at the cinema i always come out with the same reaction. "well that was hilarious. Loved it." OR "What a load of shite, like stuff like that will ever happen in real life. I hate life. Romance sucks. Arghhhh". Yeah that is actually pretty much it. Word for word.

But at the end of "Remember Me". After i wiped the tears away. Wow. What a film!! Like yeah i had the same reaction of. Oh god. Why isn't life ACTUALLY like this in real life. She gets the perfect guy. He's beautiful. She's hot. Got a body to die for blah blah blah. BUT then the ending happens. Then you think. Fuck. All that stuff actually DID happen. And it really gets you thinking about how lucky you are. (i'm trying to write as much of this without giving the ending away. In case any of you read it and haven't seen the film yet) But seriously i advice it sooo much. It was really good. My older brother who's 21 this Friday, Hates all chick flick type films (apart from mean girls, but thats due to Lyndsey Lohan i think) He even liked it. So yes. Go little puppies. :)

What other ramblings are going through my head? I really do hate films though. Coz i always feel really shite after wards. Like seriously. Where are these guys in these films? They must exist some where in the world. And why can't they come find me? Maybe i need to start hanging out in Starbucks, writing a diary with a big mug of coffee? Then some super hot, buff, smart, sexy, toned, American, high school prom king yet uber sensitive guy will come up to me and ask me if i'm done with the sugar. (which i don't have in my coffee any way) But i pretend to use it. Just so he hangs around my table that few seconds longer. By doing this it leaves a fresh image in his mind as he walks back to his table. Glancing over his shoulder for one last look as i pick up my extra large, extra skinny, Latte. He sits there for as long as i'm in there, pretending to read Sports Illustrated, but inside he's really got a book of poetry which he remembers so he can recite it to the love of his life.

I stroll out of Starbucks, without a care in the world, i wait to cross the street, the sun shining as all the cars stop for me. Just because they can. As i walk down a dark allay way where i'm faced with a group of muggers. Just as they go to take my phone and run. Hot coffee shop guy appears. Saving the day.

Pfft. Its all nice to dream about this stuff. But i suppose you can waste a life time on dreaming, and focus less about the reality of the situation. Which is. Going out with your friends every weekend, getting drunk, maybe pulling some random, maybe getting looked at a couple of times. But then you have to go back to work. Where your uniform is about as flattering as a wonderbra. You see a hot guy. And he see's you as a worker. Thats it. So gods of fate. What do you have in store for me? Where will this "perfect" man appear from?

Thats if such thing actually does exist?

Peace.

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Ehh.

I'm really really really not in the mood for anything right now. ACTUALLY. i am really in the mood to quit work. I am really in the mood to fly over to America to visit my best friend who i miss sooo much. I would like to be able to drive legally. I want a car. I want to live closer to my college friends. :) OH...

The biggest want of all, i would very much like ALL men to stop being total head fucks. Like seriously. Everyone in my life atm seems to think its okay to be utter dicks, AND get away with it? Can any one explain this? Becuase i can't as hell figure it out. :(

Going back to my last post. I really really don't know what to do come September? I mean i know there's loads i want to do. But its actually getting the job etc. Personally i think i just need a job, where i can go to mon-fri (becuase i'm fed up of working weekends) and it pays well. Then from that job, i can save plently of money and afford to go to Camp America. Or at least just get out of this crappy whole town :).

I've come to the conclusion i think i need happy pills. Coz i'm always really like MEH. or feeling like i want to cry. or drunk. aha. which makes it even worse and i STILL cry. Like when i think about leaving college i get really sad, becuase there all really good friends now. When i think about September i think who the hell am i going to hang out with? Everyone's like going to uni and such. So i am actually going to be stuck.

MEH MEH MEH. I'm going to cry. :)

Peace.

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Ouchy.

So the weirdest thing happened to me the other night. I was asleep. (as i tend to be alot) and in my dream i became paralyzed. Seriously it seemed soooo real. I remember like flinching in my sleep because it hurt. And then i woke up the next morning. Actually couldn't move!! My back hurt soooo much. And it hurt all all all day. Work was much fun (not) and now. It being two days later still hurts. Jeez. What is up with that. Its so odd. God knows what i did to it.

Work has been mucho boring in the last few weeks, so i have become known as the Artist of the lifeguard team. One little boy called me an "artist teacher" bless him. And i've also been told i am wasted as a lifeguard and that i need to get a job in art. haha people are so funny. :) So yeah here are a few of my creations...

They all look quite cool when there all put next to each other. :) I constantly get people saying oh you must be bored. I'm like YEAH pretty much. God if one of them is a mystery shopper im screwed. haha.

Half term now. Not really got much planned. Got a party to go to tomorrow, with a broken back should be fun. And then i think thats about it. Stupid being poor. FML. haha. And i'm also trying to decide wtf im going to do with my life come September.

Ahh well take each day as it comes eh.

Peace.

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