I'm really really really not in the mood for anything right now. ACTUALLY. i am really in the mood to quit work. I am really in the mood to fly over to America to visit my best friend who i miss sooo much. I would like to be able to drive legally. I want a car. I want to live closer to my college friends. :) OH...

The biggest want of all, i would very much like ALL men to stop being total head fucks. Like seriously. Everyone in my life atm seems to think its okay to be utter dicks, AND get away with it? Can any one explain this? Becuase i can't as hell figure it out. :(

Going back to my last post. I really really don't know what to do come September? I mean i know there's loads i want to do. But its actually getting the job etc. Personally i think i just need a job, where i can go to mon-fri (becuase i'm fed up of working weekends) and it pays well. Then from that job, i can save plently of money and afford to go to Camp America. Or at least just get out of this crappy whole town :).

I've come to the conclusion i think i need happy pills. Coz i'm always really like MEH. or feeling like i want to cry. or drunk. aha. which makes it even worse and i STILL cry. Like when i think about leaving college i get really sad, becuase there all really good friends now. When i think about September i think who the hell am i going to hang out with? Everyone's like going to uni and such. So i am actually going to be stuck.

MEH MEH MEH. I'm going to cry. :)

Peace.

x

So the weirdest thing happened to me the other night. I was asleep. (as i tend to be alot) and in my dream i became paralyzed. Seriously it seemed soooo real. I remember like flinching in my sleep because it hurt. And then i woke up the next morning. Actually couldn't move!! My back hurt soooo much. And it hurt all all all day. Work was much fun (not) and now. It being two days later still hurts. Jeez. What is up with that. Its so odd. God knows what i did to it.

Work has been mucho boring in the last few weeks, so i have become known as the Artist of the lifeguard team. One little boy called me an "artist teacher" bless him. And i've also been told i am wasted as a lifeguard and that i need to get a job in art. haha people are so funny. :) So yeah here are a few of my creations...

They all look quite cool when there all put next to each other. :) I constantly get people saying oh you must be bored. I'm like YEAH pretty much. God if one of them is a mystery shopper im screwed. haha.

Half term now. Not really got much planned. Got a party to go to tomorrow, with a broken back should be fun. And then i think thats about it. Stupid being poor. FML. haha. And i'm also trying to decide wtf im going to do with my life come September.

Ahh well take each day as it comes eh.

Peace.

x

Okay i know i am constantly moaning on here. But seriously. WHY do people feel the need to jump in front of trains? And not only that. On a Saturday night at 8oclock when people are trying to get home to go out!! It really does piss me off. So in the long run. I didn't go out tonight. Just stayed in blogging. YAY. Well actually i'm a geek and i rather enjoy doing that :).

My day was rather funny. We went shopping in Pompy town. Went to the outlet shops first. which were a bit of a let down. We started the day in this cafe place thing, and i wanted the breakfast without the beans. So i was like "Can i please swap the beans for a sausage". And the dopey woman was like "We can't swap beans for meat. You can have another egg" So i was like finnnne. My breakfast came. Twas bloody lovely. With my ONE bit of bacon. I mean how silly is that. One bit of bacon on a fry up. Stupido. And some boy spilt his drink all down him and on the floor. And i was sitting there heaving because this stuff on the floor looked like he sicked it up. And i'm not gonna' lie. I don't do sick. At all. haha.

But yeah shopping was a bit of a bust. Got some bits from the Cadbury's shop. Theeeen, my mother and auntie decided to go into this "cheap pub" they found last time. (turns out it was a Weatherspoons, silly old people) :). So we went in there at about 3. Three bottles of wine and a cider later we stagger out around seven o'clock. Shops shut. Train station locking up. Ahhh. My mum NEVER drinks. Like never ever. So it was rather hilarious to see her drunk. And they were on the train ringing my dad up pretending to be the queen. Ahh was rather humorous. But then the selfish fucker jumped in front of the train and we got delayed. Argh.

Tomorrow i plan to have a sexy lay in. And then i'm going to my friends nannies for dinner and to watch Dancing on ice. I love her nan. More than mine tbh. haha. Mines a loopy crazy nan.

Well i'm going to catch Spider Man now. :)
Peace.
x

Well tbh, i don't actually think anyone cares that i haven't been here. As i don't think any one reads it. So im saying sorry to myself. Because i know in years to come i will read this and think "wow, why was i such an aggressive, moody, bored, i want so much in life person?" haha. I make myself laugh.

So whats new with you? With me? Well. College is going well... i say well. Its sooooo hard! like seriously. At the moment we have to do the following (all over lapping):
* Learn naturalistic monologue
*Learn non naturalistic monologue
*Revise Shakespeare monologue (or pick and learn new one if old one wasn't long enough. Which mine so wasn't) :(
*Learn Scene
*Learn poem about sex (totally awesome and i love it. i'll write a bit in a sec)
*Log book for physical theatre
*Log book x3 for monologues
*Workshop leadership....

I think thats it. But come on!! I go to college three days a week. And on the days im not at college i work. So i have NO time what so ever for me. I just took a week off because i just felt physically and mentally dead. (and the fact i was ill but thats besides the point).

But yeah this poem... Its so totally amazing. Its about this girl who goes from a normal night out with her friends to becoming a prostitute. So when we perform it on stage, we get to wear very little... and rip our clothes and stuff. EEEK. Its gonna be amazing. I would write some of it out. But i can't be arsed to run downstairs to get it. *Note to self, learn lines for that* lol.

Love life? Ehhh. So doesn't exist at the mo. I mean if you know me... Or talk to me you will probably know the head fuck situation i have to deal with right now. So lets not go there.

I still really REALLY hate where i'm living. I look at my room now and think. GOD i can be doing soooo much more than Blogging from here. I could be any where else in the world... If only that stupid little thing called money didn't play such a huge part in this. MEH.

Going out tomorrow night for the first time in forever. And i have not got a clue what to wear. And i need to look good because i still have a crusty nose from my cold. So i need to divert attention haha.

Well, i think thats my mind empty now.. OH. I booked my theory today. Friday 9th April at 10.30am. Scared much?? i keep failing the mock ones. I'm screwwwwed. ahhh.

Well i'm going to play in the rain.
Peace.
X

Bonjourno.